its been a while

maybe, just possibly, if people are still following. and/or are still interested in knowing things that happen in my mind on a daily, to semi daily basis, here i am again.
so great.
sitting here reflecting on the things that are at the center of my being, living in the moment, keeping a calm center while emotions flood wildly around, being myself.....and where i could possibly have learned all of these things.
i am trying to visually pull up memories of reading books, of meeting the people in my past buddhism classes, of learning these things on my own, trying to present to a dear friend the resources that have helped create my way in this world.
if only i could really pin point each book. each face. each moment that has shaped me to be who i am and what i am.
i think that may be the beauty in it, right there. i am the resource. pulling up all of the frantic moments of understanding and of striving to learn and understand the details of the people around me and the thoughts that flow around us.
there is so much to learn. to see. to experience.
may your day be a blessed day filled with new experiences.
because in these experiences we shape our tomorrow.

how it is even real......

reality. what the heck is reality.
un-clouding our mind with so many illusions that take place on a daily basis. the need to be clear in the mind and head is probably the single most important thing that any one of us can do.
on a daily basis i might add.
when you take a risk in life, you want your head to be clear to be able to make a decision. i feel as though too, there needs to be a balance between your head as well as your heart.
how do you know if the right decision is being made unless you have a feeling in your heart as well???
it comes from both places.
desire. the over-whleming craving for worldly pleasures. clinging to this very existence, our self/ego and the things or people we—due to our delusions—deem the cause of our respective happiness or unhappiness. The suffering ends when the craving and desire ends.
one can be freed from all of desires and achieve ultimate clearing of the mind when delusions are set aside and freed . 
so.....easier said than done.
that is why we are constantly in practice or a process.